Self-view as (not) worldview

Six months later, I’m still thinking about something a sangha member said in class early one morning.

Another sangha member had invited people to offer healing suggestions relative to a particular problem she was struggling with. My contribution was to recommend Metta meditation, in which we offer lovingkindness to ourselves and others, and ultimately to all beings without reservation, which can be tremendously healing for all.

Some simple phrases might include,

May you be well.
May you be happy.
May you live with ease. 

Feeling these phrases for yourself and others with all your heart can, over time, be a transformative experience. Yet, people sometimes forget the option of Metta, which can be seen as a second chair to, say, meditation through focus on the breath.

But Metta is also a concentration practice, one the Buddha said can take us all the way to awakening. And it’s so simple. And it’s my favorite, and I use it all the time, with wonderful results. So I remind folks of Metta when given the chance.

I suggested she start with Metta for herself.

The next person who spoke said, but of course, it’s so hard to offer Metta to ourselves. 

Of course? This clearly was true for him. But this led me to think of how critical it is to recognize that your specifics—your self-view— will not be true of everyone, or possibly anyone else.

For some people, offering Metta to themselves is quite challenging. There are people who, for example, have scars from a difficult childhood that intervene in their ability to love themselves. In such circumstances, teachers may suggest offering Metta to a dearly beloved person or even a pet who presents no barriers to your wholehearted love, then following with Metta for yourself once you’ve warmed up.

As a result of this exchange in class, I started thinking more about self-view as worldview—seeing our individual experiences as the lens for interpreting the experiences of all others. And how our lens may be darkened, clouded, or brightened by our own experience; and how such a lens may obstruct rather than allow for understanding others.

Our experiences may also act as a richly textured entree into the experiences and perspectives of others. If I have suffered pain, I can so much more readily understand your pain, even if yours is different from mine. For which I am grateful. But I have found it to be a very interesting practice to maintain an alertness to the tendency to assume that my view is your view as I seek to understand the people in the world around me!

And—I’m well aware that because I had an amazing, loving, creative, curious mom, I’m fortunate beyond measure. Lately, I’m wondering if that allows me to offer happy, wholesome mom energy to the rest of the world in a way that may positively convey healing energy and light.

I hope so!

Photo credit: Wolfgang Hasselmann