Would you name curiosity as an essential ingredient of the spiritual life? It surely is if you’re on the Buddhist path.

Here’s a quick example: rather than being overwhelmed or otherwise incapacitated by adverse experiences, thoughts, or emotions—we practitioners get curious! Hello, we say. What do we have here?

Rather than hiding from, ignoring, tamping down, or fervently wishing disturbances would just disappear, we greet them with an open heart and mind, genuinely curious to get to know them.

We don’t seek out dukkha, or discomforts. But we grow to be accepting of whatever comes our way with equanimity. This and that. The joys and the sorrows. Like Rumi in his beautiful poem, The Guest House.

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

When I get suddenly teary-eyed, irritated, hurt, or lonely, for instance, I don’t try to chase the feelings away. I pause and wonder…where is this coming from? What’s this really about? This immediately flips the script from suffering to exploration, which has a very different flavor.

And it can have many layers, like an onion. The first inkling of awareness that appears might be followed, a day later, by another… and another. Until we potentially understand, gain a little wisdom, a little calm, a little peace.

If something really tough shows up, I first respond with curiosity about what skillful means are available to help in the moment, rather than lingering in the immersion of painful sensations. Perhaps some kindness or a self-compassion break will help. (Beloved Dharma teacher Sylvia Boorstein says to herself, It’s okay, honey!) Or soup. Or simply being fully present, which can be surprisingly healing in itself.

Making space in your heart can be very powerful. Or simply going outside and looking up at the vast, awe-inspiring dome of the sky.

I think the main thing is just not to wallow in discomfort when given the option of curiosity, a tool for self-awareness, realization, and regulation. Curiosity can add to our competence, and our ability to do a good job at living.

Cheers, dear heart!

 

Photo credit: Brad Dodson