I’ve been wondering about a lot of things lately. I think the throughline might be aging.
I’m noticing a feeling of overwhelm. It might be for real—as in, anyone in like circumstances would feel this way—or, it might be about aging. I wonder.
As the holidays approach, I find myself concerned about overwhelm. Am I scheduling too many things, to the point where my days will be stressful? (My oldest friend is visiting and my birthday’s coming up, too.) The ideal is to have time with family…friends…spiritual practice…traditions…special events and outings…nature…city lights…awe! Plus getting work done in time to take a real break for the holidays. Right?
Am I more concerned than usual about being sure to build in enough spaciousness—because I’m getting older?
On the other hand, I have very strong urges to connect with some dear people in my life, whether old or new friends, whom I’ve not spoken with in a while, before the end of the year. To the point where overwhelm be darned, I’m making lunch dates and online “tea” dates with abandon! I think this has to do with aging, too. Carpe diem!
This brings me to…balance, a term I have largely eschewed for some years. As in, it’s not really possible. It’s precarious at best. We have no control over nearly everything, owing to impermanence, deadlines, and so on. So why bother trying to create, quantify, sculpt, or otherwise conjure up “balance?”
But now I like balance! I’m employing it to help make space + make precious time for friends and family. To have my cake and eat it, too. I’m thankful for every day I have! I savor each. And I plan to enjoy balance without expecting perfection of any sort whatsoever, whenever and however it appears. 🙂
How do you cope with this illusive element?
Love,
Jo
Ps—I spoke to my friend Regina on the topic of balance this week, and she wisely invited the word “resilience” into the conversation. Ah! Yes, indeed.
Photo by Fan Lyu
Joan
Balance! Such a perfect for so many of us, especially dur8ng the holiday season. Thanks so much, Jo.
Jo
Thank you, Joan! I hope your holidays were lovely, and send you best wishes for light, love, and joy in 2024! <3
Shell
Hi Jo!
First, let me just say THANK YOU! for your wonderful newsletter. I have been enjoying this treasure for a few years now, thanks to an indirect discovery through my friend Rebecca Katz.
I have learned that balance is illusive, and an illusion. For me, it almost became another burden. Knowing myself, my ever evolving capacities, and deepening my practice of flexibility and self-connection has resulted in the results I was expecting when pursuing “balance”. Letting go of that pursuit has been liberating and engaging in a whole new way.
Wishing you a restorative, rejuvenating and joyous winter.
Jo
Hi Shell!
I’m so happy you’re enjoying Mindful News! And grateful for your comments.
Like you, and as you see, I had eschewed the notion of balance for years, thinking it, as you say, “illusive and an illusion.” It interests me that it’s cropping up again for consideration as I’m aging (I’ll be 72 tomorrow :). I’m not at all convinced it has a worthy place in my thoughts…but there it is.
Aging is partly a process of moving forward into… we know not what, when, or where. The experience seems quite different for different people. I delighted in a recent video a daughter took of her mom and posted on Instagram. Her mom is 91 and is seen exercising on a parcourse like a boss. My hero! I thought. So much is possible. And—despite being really excellent at mindfulness, awareness, and being in the present moment, I’m feeling unexpectedly a bit overwhelmed. Is there a way of calibrating life towards better balance, even if balance itself is not attainable? I’m curious!
<3
Jo